Unemployed Virgin Gamer Wins Contest For A Date With Jessica Nigri

By on

A guy in his early 20?s by the name of Tucker Thompson, who lives with his mother in Glassboro, New Jersey, recently entered a contest that was sponsored by their local radio station. And the prize is a date with the smoking hot cosplayer, Jessica Nigri.

The mechanics of the contest were fairly simple; Identify the names of all the pets of Tanner Family from Full House. Tucker was the first one to answer correctly.

?Comet the dog, Martin the goldfish, Freddy the fish, Bubba the turtle, Scruffy the pig, Shorty the donkey, and though not owned by the Tanners, there was also Sparky the Jack Russell, and Kimmy?s poodle Coco.? Also, there was Mr. Woodchuck who was technically not a pet, but don?t tell Joey that.?

Tucker won the contest, but his prize not only included a date with the famous Jessica, but also a limousine service from his home to an exclusive Japanese restaurant that is located in New York, the Masa. And to top all that, he also won an arrangement? at a Ritz-Carlton Hotel for the night.

?It was such a fantastic opportunity for me and a fan to experience such elegance!,?said Jessica.

?I was super-psyched to get some free sushi and booze, and finally get a night away from my mom,? Tucker said.

To find out what happened, the Kohlrabi interviewed both of them. So, how did the date go?

Tucker said, ?It was totally awesome; best night of my life. Jessica is a classy lady and we have a lot in common.? I wouldn?t be surprised if she called me again for a date.?

?All he did at dinner was play his 3DS and check his Warcraft stats and gamerscore.? I gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried to seduce him at the hotel, but when I smacked his butt, he started sobbing like an infant and then fell asleep in my arms,? Jessica responded.

The Kohlrabi asked Tucker if he?s still a virgin and he said, ?All I can say is, Jessica is an animal in the sack.?

They also got in touch with Tucker?s mom, Bobbi-Jo Thompson, and she had this to say, ?I can?t believe Tucker has a masters degree in physics and still lives with me.? I also can?t believe that he went to college for six years and is still a virgin.? I was praying to Jesus that this Nintendo model would be the one to finally bring him out of his nerd shell.?

A month has passed now, and to see if there?s going to be a second date, the team contacted both Tucker and Jessica again.

?Definitely not,? Jessica said.

Tucker responded with ?We?re currently discussing wedding plans, but her parents are against it, so we?ll see what happens.?


Photo Source:



About the author

To Top