Issues that cloud your gaming judgment and piss you the shazbot off!
It’s pronounced muddy waters or muddee waters; but however you say it, you guys get the meaning. This is going to be a column, or section or whatever you want to call it, that is going to be basically the gaming complaint department. It is going to be an outlet in which we all can express our gaming woes, so we won’t have to take out our anger on our little brother by beating him up. There will be a rating system that will be measured in a mudball scale of 1 -10. It will work like real mudballs in real life. The more mudballs slang by us, the cloudier and shittier the rating; less mudballs means that issue is much cleaner and more liked and that is a better rating. You would rather eat at a first class restaurant than a third class restaurant. Same goes here. You would rather have 1 mudball thrown at you than several all over your body. This will be home base for all the complainers out there. That pretty much sums up all of us gamers; because all gamers have at least one complaint about video games, the hardware that run them, or about the culture that surrounds the genre. This is why game companies continue to sell upgraded hardware and create more complex games. They took in our complaints about graphics and gameplay and worked on fixing them.
Most complaints, though, get overlooked. This is where the Mudd? Waters column comes in. It will be a segment that will become a central “waypoint” for us, the consumers, to discuss about all the stupid little 1up’s that industry does to us and allow us to attempt to put reason where reasoning may not even fit. Who knows, if enough responses to one particular complaint or issue comes up, we may even have enough juice to get official answers (or more lies) sent back to us directly from the industry’s mouth. That is just wishful thinking right now.
Speaking of 1up’s. It seems like Activision or Microsoft, I really don’t know who is the blame for this decision (but I am putting my mudballs on Microsoft), has secretly began giving us the 1up Mario raw rump ride (if you don’t know what I am talking about, look up Mario humps princess in a Google search; Mario receives a 1up for every hump he gives princess in the rear). If anyone has noticed on their brand spanking new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 game, the packaging feels whole lot lighter for some reason. That is because as soon you open the stinking thing, you will find a series of methodically punched out holes in the very case itself! They are cut out in a daisy flower fashion.
Now every time I a purchase a new xbox 360 game I have to check and see if the game is scratched before I pop it in my console. I have to do that because all the freaking holes happen to be right over the shazbottin crucial areas of the shazbottin game disc! I used to have respect for the old xbox 360 game cases. They were much more thicker, more dynamic, and I could masturbate with them without having a single crack come up. Ok that last part I made up, I don’t masturbate with them, my girl uses them as a masturbation tool. You have to admit though, these cases were sturdier than the cases used for DVD movies.
I am all for a company saving thousands of dollars, maybe even millions of dollars with this change, but at least try to pass some savings on to the consumer. I mean you already pissed off Joe consumer by increasing the basic price of a new game by 10 bux, making a grand total of 60 bux. Most Hollywood movies cost more to make and their DVDs are about more than half of what current games cost. Even if you factor in the cost of going to see the movie first in a theater, you get a grand total of 30 bux = $10 theater cost + $20 DVD cost. This whole issue is like having a bathroom without an aroma therapy candle! These new cases can get the job done, but COME ON!
I am grading this issue an 8 out of a possible 10 mudballz. My $60+local sales tax investment is a whole lot less protected. With no way of backing up my software, there is more risk of wasting another $60 dollars for the same exact game. How much more ridiculous is the industry going to get? Are we going to have to start purchasing games in paper sleeves, like how they distributed the 4th disc in the lost odyssey game case? How much more can they freaking chinse us? It seems like no matter what they do, wii just have to take it raw like the princess. What the shazbot?!!!!!!!!