I was chatting with my friend online and he had a story to tell.  It was not unlike a lot of his past stories with game systems.  Like when he couldn’t beat M.Bison on 8 stars and he stood up and stomped directly on top of the cartridge, while it was in the slot. It broke the casing in half, right along the creases.   That’s just one of many times video game hardware has been destroyed at the hands of my ‘360 Friend’.  Here’s the dialog we had today concerning his latest wave of console destruction which had him getting a new 360 just to replace his controller.

[13:01] 360 Friend: I broke two XBox 360 controllers because of NBA 2K8
[13:01] tordavis: why!?!? LOL
[13:01] 360 Friend: ok hold on…so you know I make created players..me and Joe on the same team. Manute Bok 2K, Little Man, and maybe one or two more that go into free agency
[13:02] 360 Friend: Manute Bol 2K, I mena
[13:02] 360 Friend: so there’s me and Joe, plus some random players we created in the league
[13:02] 360 Friend: I’m trying to set this up just right, so the story gets more and more funny
[13:03] 360 Friend: you know that I give Manute Bol 2K 3 point ability and all, just like in real life
[13:03] tordavis: yep
[13:03] 360 Friend: ok..so he got selected to the Chicago Bulls
[13:03] 360 Friend: I really didn’t feel like doing the whole season, so after about 30 games or so, I simmed all the way into the playoffs
[13:04] tordavis: oh so you just made the characters and threw them in the league, not a team?
[13:04] 360 Friend: right, free agents
[13:04] 360 Friend: the computer picks them up randomly
[13:04] 360 Friend: anyway…my team makes it to the finals and so do the Chicago Bulls
[13:04] tordavis: HAHAHA I’m already laughing
[13:05] 360 Friend: so I’m ready to be done with this game…I figure since I simmed most of the season and all the playoffs, the least I could do was play the Finals
[13:05] 360 Friend: first of all, Manute Bok 2K is ridiculous. he’s like 7′4, shoots threes, can’t be blocked, and is given the ball almost every time
[13:06] 360 Friend: even though he scored like 40-50 points on me in games 1 and 2, I still won. it was hard, but not bad
[13:06] tordavis: HAHAHAHAAH
[13:06] 360 Friend: now…game 3 comes along..I do ok, but then I fall apart at the end. I’ve tried to beat FUCKING game three FIVE damn times…Bok 2K just goes nuts..he had nearly 60 points!!!!! I just want to finish this game!
[13:07] 360 Friend: I wasted 5 hours of my life to try and finish the Finals!!
[13:07] tordavis: hahahaha I’m fucking rolling!
[13:07] 360 Friend: it’s always in the 4th quarter that all my players miss everything and Bok 2K makes everything, including threes. He never gets a foul called on him and he blocks like 6 shots per game
[13:08] tordavis: LOLOLOLOL
[13:08] 360 Friend: I fucking made him! what the hell? he was only supposed to be good at blocking and threes
[13:08] 360 Friend: now he plays like Shaq mixed with Craigh Hodges or something
[13:08] tordavis: hahahahah
[13:08] tordavis: I wish you had this on video
[13:08] tordavis: this would make a great night cap segment
[13:09] 360 Friend: so during one of those breakdowns, I noticed my wireless controller right thumbstick would no longer work when pushing up and down..probably from me pushing all hard on it when shit goes wrong
[13:09] 360 Friend: then I switched to my wired controller and tried another game. same bullshit happened so I threw it then grabbed it and crushed it/folded it and stomped it
[13:10] tordavis: DUDE, I’m in tears!
[13:10] 360 Friend: then I thought I could salvage parts from that one and put a new right stick in the wireless..but they have DIFFERENT screw types!
[13:11] 360 Friend: the wireless has like hex head screws, but there’s a little post or something in the center, so my grandpa’s hex tools won’t work (he has like every tool in the world, but not that hex with a small opening for that post in the center. not sure what they are called..
[13:12] 360 Friend: since I have a best buy plan, I just took the whole thing back and got a new system/controller. I also ordered another wireless controller off Amazon
[13:12] tordavis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
[13:12] tordavis: YOu got a new fucking 360 over this!?!?!?!?!?!
[13:12] 360 Friend: every single time I try this shit, something falls apart in the end
[13:12] 360 Friend: I’m going to try the 6th time playing game 3 in a little bit!
[13:13] 360 Friend: yes, how else can I get a new controller? It comes with the 360
[13:14] 360 Friend: I almost broke the fucking game. I think part of it is because team chemistry drops down every game you simulate, even if you win..and if you simulate practice sessions too. it’s like my team stops hitting shots and can’t do anything right in the 4th
[13:15] 360 Friend: plus with Bol 2K going insane…like Jordan x 1000, it’s impossible
[13:15] tordavis: hahahah
[13:15] 360 Friend: I want to finish the season so I can get the achievement and so I can have closure. that’s all
[13:15] 360 Friend: I should have been moved on to another game days ago
[13:15] tordavis: perry is gonna piss his pants
[13:16] tordavis: people here at work are telling me to calm down
[13:16] 360 Friend: nice!
[13:16] 360 Friend: in a couple of the games, Bol 2K had like 30 points in the first quarter
[13:17] 360 Friend: it’s insane! I did NOT make him that crazy
[13:17] tordavis: that is hilarious man
[13:17] tordavis: best one yet
[13:17] 360 Friend: no…the broken controller pieces were of the wired controller
[13:17] tordavis: do you still have it?
[13:17] 360 Friend: I thought my SF2 SNES story was better tho
[13:18] 360 Friend: It normally takes 12 fights to get to Bison…and I was up to like battle 50…40 of them on bison
[13:18] 360 Friend: 8 stars
[13:18] tordavis: oh SFIV is fucking awesome. Plays like every other sf game. which is good.
[13:18] 360 Friend: one more Fireman’s carry throw and that was it. stomped the cartridge while it was in the SNES then used the Genesis AC adapter like a whip and smashed a big hole in the SNES (which is still there)
[13:19] tordavis: LOOLOL
[13:19] 360 Friend: he did that bullshit sliding attack..if you blocked, then it was fireman’s carry time. that makes me hot just reflecting on it
[13:19] 360 Friend: you want to know the first game I can recall breaking a controller on?
[13:20] tordavis: yeah
[13:20] tordavis: I’m stilll rolling
[13:21] tordavis: People want a little bit of what I have at my desk. so I had to tell your story
[13:21] tordavis: LOL
[13:21] tordavis: I am fucking dying here
[13:22] 360 Friend: I think the first game I got so upset that I broke a controller on was Gopher for the 2600. that game was the fucking WORST ever…or it could have been River Raid, which also cheated
[13:22] 360 Friend: I would kill myself if I had to play Gopher again. do you know that game?
[13:23] tordavis: yes!! River Raid was a fucking BITCH
[13:23] tordavis: I would die at the SAME SPOT EVERY TIME!
[13:23] 360 Friend: the walls seriously sucked you in
[13:23] 360 Friend: it was bullshit
[13:23] 360 Friend: but what about Gopher? do you know it?
[13:23] tordavis: I know it but never played it
[13:24] 360 Friend: good thing!
[13:24] 360 Friend: that is probably the most frustrating game ever made
[13:24] 360 Friend: plus the Gopher fucking taunts you
[13:24] 360 Friend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heLJIpPUqh8
[13:24] 360 Friend: watch that shit and know it makes me furious to even look at that video
[13:25] tordavis: Im’ fucking dying here!
[13:25] tordavis: HAHAHAHA
[13:25] tordavis: the bird shit on him
[13:26] 360 Friend: the gopher just keeps coming up holes and laughing. I hated it…I wanted to ‘beat’ that game but it’s not possible. man, that game HAS to be tops on my list of most frustrating ever
[13:26] 360 Friend: if you want to see/hear something funny, have me and Perry play that game 2 players
[13:31] 360 Friend: I’ve never had a game that was so impossible to win. I just want to end the Finals..that’s it. 2 more games…can’t get past game 3! FUCK YOU BOL 2K
[13:32] 360 Friend: with Joe or my player, I can drive the lane and do like 100 dribble moves, but he still manages to block from like 10 miles away, like Dhalsim or some shit!