1. Fanboyism –adjective

The collective outlook and behavior of a group of people concerning a subject (movies, games, hardware, comic book characters, etc.) which when challenged results in an antagonistic, passionate, and unreasoned response.

Rampant Fanboyism can be found on most internet message boards when such hot button subjects are discussed. You know a fanboy when you see one.

Example:
Fanboy 1: “The Playstation 3 is better because…”
Fanboy 2: “My iPod is better than your Zune, how can you carry around a brown MP3 player…”
Fanboy 3: It’s unrealistic because…..___(fill in the blank about how this movie about flying superheroes is unrealistic.___”

My take on fanboys.

Since the dawn of time there has been disease amongst man that has plagued the earth. Since man learned to create fire, cavemen argued over which stick was best to rub and start fire. Which craftsman in the village made the best spear for hunting? Even though the items both performed the exact same tasks, and both had their pros and cons there was a village idiot lying in wait ready to argue his case. “Mine is better than yours”.

This sickness still plagues us today. Science has found no cure and there is no vaccination that we are given as infants. This sickness is called, fanboyism. You have all heard of them, you probably know one and have most likely argued with one. You may be one of them yourself. They are all around us. All of us have been fanboys at one time or another on something, knowingly or unconsciously. I have been guilty of this in the past but I unlike many of you have managed to change my ways.

Sure there are different types, but in my personal opinion no one is worse than the Apple fanboy. The guy that would give their first born son to get an iPhone they can’t afford. The guy that would clean Steve Jobs balls with his mouth if possible. They stalk sites like Digg.com all day long to protect and promote the company they love. It doesn’t end with Apple. From the Xbox to the PS3 Fanboy, there are flocks of idiots ready to pledge their allegiance to a company. Not only will they give them their money, but market their products for free.

Lately the PS3 fanboys have been out in full force. They are the ones that jump in your face to tell you how the Playstation 3 has been outselling the 360 by 200K a month. They love throwing numbers in your face…like we even care. Why can’t these people just enjoy their console and play their games?

The 360 and the PS3 both play games, and from what I can tell they both have pros and cons. So what? Why can’t they be happy with what they have invested in? Neither company is going away so why fight about it? I understand each may have there exclusive titles, such as Halo vs. Resistance. So buy your copy and be happy with it! I don’t need some bald guy in Ohio to tell me why Halo sucks. I don’t give a shit if you think Bill Gates is the anti-christ. Or one of the developers from Halo drives an SUV and the Resistance devs drive hybrids. I really don’t give a fuck. These people will use any pathetic excuse they can find to muster a fight.

As a hardcore gamer I have always invested in getting each product so that I can enjoy all of the content that the video game world has to offer me. I view a console to be like a portal into the world of Nintendo, Xbox, and Playstation. Without one connected to your TV you can not pass through and sip from the fountains of Mario, Halo, or Metal Gear. I have a 360, a Wii, and a PS3. I enjoy using all 3 of them. When I’m using my Wii, I don’t sit there thinking about how the graphics don’t look as great as my 360 or my PS3. I am having a good time and enjoying myself. So its pretty obvious that most of these messageboard trolling fanboys hate on the opposite system from which they own because they simply cannot afford to have all of them. I mean, why would you hate on a game like Halo 3? Especially considering you don’t even own it or have the system that can play it? Are you telling me if I were to give the average PS3 fanboy an Xbox 360 and a copy of Halo for free, it would sit in the box never to be touched? Doubtful.

So why fight if you can’t win? Microsoft has tons of money and they are in this for the long run, as is the Playstation franchise. Who gives a fuck who sells more consoles or ends up number one in the end? Does it make that game your playing any more enjoyable? So either join in the fun and try the console you love to hate, or just shut the fuck up about it. If spent more time gaming and less time scouring the internet starting trouble, you’d be much better off.

How do we spot them? And if I encounter one what should I do?

You know them when you see them, they pull numbers that mean shit to real gamers out of their asses. “300,000 consoles sold last month to the Xbox’s 100,000! HA! ”

They put stickers on their cars. When I see an Apple sticker on the rear window of a car it makes me crack up. Like I give a shit what kind of computer the asshole in the accord in front of me has.

If you come face to face with them you must take a step back and overcome any urge you might have to try and counter their beliefs. You must understand the rules here. These are not rational people. No matter what facts you have to back up your points, they will not take them into consideration. In fact the only way these people can get any pleasure from there arguments is if you engage them in battle. So the best thing to do is to label them a fanboy and let them be. THEY HATE being called a fanboy.

Where do we go from here?

I have been considering taking on fanboys on this site as I come across them but that would be impossible. I’m thinking I will look for some big time offenders and major players and try and show the world their stupidity, which is certainly a possibility. For the most part, I wanted to try and work to find a deeper understanding of these people and develop a universal set of rules that can be followed; no matter what the context in which you encounter them.

If your a fanboy and you’re reading this, I pity you. The other console you bash continuously is really fun to use, its like a portal to another world and without it your locked out of it…thankfully.

~Candid Anthony